Vorsichtige Wiederbelebung

10.000 Jahre später ...

Ich möchte wieder über mein Gestricktes schreiben. In letzter Zeit habe ich so viel entwickelt und ausprobiert und es steht noch so vieles auf dem Programm und manchmal habe ich das Bedürfnis es aufzuschreiben. Besonders nachdem ich das komplette Blog nochmals gelesen habe - es macht schon Spaß. meine eigene Strickgeschichte zu verfolgen.

Allerdings werde ich von heute an auf Deutsch schreiben - nicht, weil ich nicht mehr Englisch schreiben mag, aber die Zusammensetzung meiner Strickblase hat sich verändert und ich mag mehr Menschen den Zugang zu meinen Texten ermöglichen.

In letzter Zeit habe ich wieder ein paar Kinderdinge gestrickt, denn Besuch bei den Niblingen steht auf dem Programm und ich stricke auch gerne Kinderkleidung auf Vorrat. In einem anderen Post möchte ich über meine Lieblingskonstruktionen schreiben, heute soll es um ein besonderes Muster gehen.

Rechts seht ihr ein Bild von Glühwürmchen, einem der Pullunder, aus schwarzer und sehr bunter Wolle mit vielen verschiedenen Farben gestrickt. In der Mitte des Ausschnitts sind drei Knöpfe. Die Träger und der untere Rand sind bunt, in der Mitte wechseln sich dicke schwarze Streifen mit dünnen bunten Streifen ab. Die bunten Streifen sind kraus gestrickt, die schwarzen glatt.

Ich finde den Pullunder so sehr nett, aber als ich das Strickstück umdrehte, um die Enden zu vernähen, fluchte ich ein wenig, weil die Innenseite noch schöner war als die Außenseite! Sie sah nämlich so aus:

Auf der verkehrt gestrickten Seite ergibt sich durch die bunten Maschen auf den schwarzen ein interessantes Muster, wie kleine Bögen oder Reißverschlusszacken, die ineinander greifen. Genau dieser Reißverschlusseffekt interessierte mich. Ich habe ihn nämlich bereits in einem anderen Strickstück erfolgreich angewendet.

Nachdem ich aber den Pullunder nicht umkehren konnte und nicht neu stricken wollte, bleibt die schöne Innenseite erst mal innen. Dafür wollte ich dieses Muster auf ein Jäckchen anwenden.

Als Vorlage verwendete ich den Cubes Pullover aus der Deep Fall Knitty 2014 und nannte mein Jäckchen Gentle cuddle.

Die graubraune Wolle dafür habe ich schon ewig. Ich kann nicht mehr genau sagen, wann sie in meinen Wollvorrat (bzw. Stash) kam, aber definitiv vor 2009. Der Eintrag des Garns, Lana Grossa Cashtweed, wurde 2007 erstellt. Manche Garne liegen bei mir so lange, sie werden ja nicht schlecht. Manche warten auf das perfekte Projekt, manche auf eine Kontrastfarbe. Und für dieses Garn fand sich endlich den perfekten Kontrast in Form von Lana Grossa Royal Tweed in einem rötlichen Hellviolett.

Also habe ich gleich das neue Muster ausprobiert und musste traurig feststellen, dass die Farbkombination dafür absolut ungeeignet war. Bzw. wenn ich geplant hätte, einen subtilen, verschwommenen Farbeffekt zu erzeugen, wäre es perfekt gewesen. Aber ich wollte doch, dass der schöne Reißverschlusseffekt sichtbar wurde.

Tat er aber nicht. Stattdessen gefiel mir die glatte Seite viel, viel besser und das Kontrastgarn leuchtete viel mehr aus der graubraunen Wolle hervor. Nur musste ich jetzt alles bis auf den Halsansatz auftrennen, denn mein Perfektionismus verlangte, dass die Vorderseite des Anschlags zu sehen war und nicht die Rückseite, die bei den glatten Maschen so kleine Knubbel macht, wie ihr links sehen könnt.

Das Reißverschlussmuster eignet sich also am Besten für Garne mit hohem Kontrast, wie ihr rechts bei meiner Katzenfamilie - also der vordersten Katze - sehen könnt. Es entsteht, wenn ihr mit zwei Farben strickt und die Farbe in jeder Reihe abwechselt. Die vorderste Katze ist komplett in der Technik gestrickt, aus dunkelbrauner und wollweißer Wolle.

Zwar habe ich für die Katze diese Technik nicht angewendet, aber für rundgestrickte Projekte im Reißverschlussmuster eignet sich die Helix-Stricktechnik ausgezeichnet. Ich möchte das demnächst in einer Mütze ausprobieren.

summer break

Oh boy. Ooooooh boy. I'm having a super-hectic July again. And this time my main workplace isn't climatised.

First of all, I am currently doing research on a somewhat forgotten composer of operettas. I can read the old handwriting style that was popular in German-speaking countries up to WWII and so when somebody calls the Austrian National Library and says "I can't read these letters from Grandma, please read them for me", they say "Uh, no, but we have someone on call who does this" and they call me. This happened again at the end of May and I got to transcribe over 300 letters and when everything was done, the woman actually writing the book asked me to help her with the historical research on the guy. So about three months after graduation, I am doing what I have been studying for the last ten years, my name will be in the book and I'm even getting paid! It's too bad we don't really have enough time, since there is a deadline from the publisher, but I have found all kinds of interesting things, so we're doing well. That's one thing. I have to go to archives, libraries and next week I'll be visiting cemeteries. Well, it's definitely educational and good experience.

The second thing, which I thought I could handle alongside the research, is a course in how to properly apply for jobs. I've wanted to do a course like that for a while, so I thought it would be ok, but there's this guy who talks allllll the time and is making things really miserable - dunno if for the rest of us, but certainly for me. But oh well, I'll learn some useful things and by the end of the course I'm sure I'll have a bit more confidence when it comes to applying for jobs.

And then there's the third thing. On Thursday during that course we had to work on the computers, drafting up a little paragraph that should advertise our greatness. I was bored and started looking around this job search engine for positions in academia, when I came across one that fit me perfectly. I got very excited and started researching and thinking about what I would need and today I already called there to ask about some details (like how many references I need and whether to send a picture or not and things like that) and emailed my professors about letters of recommendation.

With that, my July has entered crazytown. Added to that is the fact that I have committed myself to go to Berchtesgaden and see the Eagle's Nest on Monday and Tuesday - July has left crazytown and is heading for parts unknown.

The only thing I can do is do what I need to do and go with the flow. That means only little knitting (it's too hot, anyway), very little anime and a blogging break until at least two of the three things are over. I do wonder why these insane periods always come when it's hot outside which makes everything about 100 times worse, but eh. It's an exercise in Zen ... or perseverance.

what am i doing?

Recently I read another knitting blog that raised a lot of questions for me. What am I doing with my blog? What are my intentions with it? What am I showing and why am I showing it? How am I writing and why am I writing this way? What could I do differently? What does my blog say about me? When I started the blog, I intended to write "a knitting blog, although I guess I won't be able to keep out my opinions on movies, books, comics, music and other things out completely. A knitting blog that will hopefully not only cover the projects I'm working on, but also my thoughts on knitting, new patterns I've discovered, things that are going on in the knitting world and so on."

Ha! Considering the blog started to turn into THESIS BLOG in June 2010, it now seems a rather lofty goal. But up until then I had talked about my knitting, mostly, with a bit of music and anime thrown in for good change. And then I started with pictures of flowers. I worked so much in July 2010 that I had no time to knit and the computer broke and the thesis ... and I started illustrating my blog with pictures of Vienna and Scotland. Before going completely silent in September, I posted pictures from Switzerland, the Czech Republic and, once again, Vienna. Then I finally returned to blogging in February 2011, after I had finished the thesis and started posting pictures of the sky and the moon. And a few knitted items, too. Then, more pictures of flowers and of places I had been to - Hungary and Germany.

After reading the other knitblog, I'm now feeling uncomfortable with my pictures of flowers and earrings and the moon and the places I went to. I feel like I'm bragging. I feel like I'm being twee or posing as a hipster. I feel ... pretentious. The other knitblog had a lot of pictures of stuff - buttons, mugs, cloth, cutesy things. I thought of Bezzie and her views of another knitblog with beautiful (but extremely pretentious) pictures of knitting. I thought of all the other knitblogs I read - most of them feature either the knitter's life as it is or they feature lots of knitting. A very few - one or two - feature photography that I would call ... show-offy. A very few - one or maybe two - feature photographs of things other than knitting. I don't read the show-offy ones very often and I don't read the ones showing lots of cutesy stuff very often, either.

So why the heck did I post so many (pretentious, show-offy) pictures of flowers, the sky and the places I had been?  I mean, sheesh, for my travels, I actually have albums on facebook. Why here? I'm not even using the pictures to illustrate how certain colors of certain places INSPIRED me (caps because pretentious). My inspiration doesn't work that way. The rhododendrons in the last post made me think of underwear, not knitting. Maybe it's because I don't have a lot of confidence in my writing. The other blog was eloquent, if at times infuriating (because trite, wrong or pretentious, also some elements of the writing style got on my nerves very much). I feel like my posts aren't eloquent at all. I feel they're short and matter-of-fact and there's a lot of "-" and "...".

The knitblogs I like to read the most are eloquent and funny. And they make the daily life of their writers sound interesting. One of my favorite blogs doesn't even have pictures - or only very rarely. I don't trust my sense of humour to come across very well, it is weird, nerdy and obscure. My daily life isn't very interesting, either. I could rant away about the person playing saxophone in the other room (who is leaving in a few days, I'm glad to say) or about the lack of a shower curtain or the brothel or whatever it actually is (officially a swinger club/sauna ... yeah, right) in our house or the weird owner of the hotel in the house behind us who screams at people who put their trash in the trashcans because sometimes there are people who don't live in our house who deposit their trash in our trashcan, but while I love reading about such things on other blog, I, myself, don't feel like writing about them.

I could show you pictures of my room, of the flat I share with two other people, of the house and district I live in - but I'm shy about posting pictures of my own self and I wonder if my readers (I do have readers, the blog stats say so) actually would find it interesting to see where I live. I'm also afraid of looking pretentions in the way of "ooooo, look at me, I live in VIENNA in a house with JUGENDSTIL windows on the TOP FLOOR in one of the HIP DISTRICTS". But why did I post pictures of Vienna and other places I've visited, then? Nothing else to say or show, I guess. And the idea that a blog post without pictures is a bad blog post (I think I read that somewhere). Well, maybe I should take pictures of my chaotic room ...

Where is that line between pretentious and "oh look, I went here and saw this neat thing"? Where is the line between twee and "these are the buttons I'm going to use for this cardigan"? Showing you pictures of the two bowls that I got last week from a jumble sale - is that pretentious? After reading the other blog, I guess the answer is: yes. Showing you my grandmother's soup bowl that I use in place of a yarn bowl - that wouldn't be pretentious, I hope. It's not like it's a superduper expensive treasure or something. It's just a soup bowl.

But the other bowls aren't either. And they aren't even from the 19th century or anything. Googling has revealed that they must have been produced between 1939 and 1945 and inspection has revealed that I scratched the surface of one of the bowls during transport (bad porcelain, I must say). Showing you the earrings my mother gave me for my birthday - pretentious, I guess (really?). Is showing you the earrings that I recently bought from a place that sells cheap jewelry and repainted with nailpolish pretentious or a useful idea?

I do know that I feel jealous of bloggers who post pictures of the beautiful places they live in and the places they visit and the knick-knacks they own and the things they knit, always photographed against interesting backgrounds, in great clothes and neat shoes and headscarves and makeup. Actually, when I see the things they own, I want to own them, too. And I am jealous of their lives, too. Heck, I, too, would like somebody else to take pictures of me in my knitting in nice clothes and makeup in beautiful locations. I'd love to be married and have children, too. But I already have plenty of twee knick-knacks and buttons and live in a beautiful place and I have opportunities to go to beautiful places and knit beautiful things and I can take pictures of flowers and the moon and whatever else strikes my fancy. And marriage and children will come (hopefully). And why shouldn't I post these things on my blog? It's my blog, after all.

But I now feel just as pretentious as those bloggers. Displaying my privileged life and the stuff I own was not one of my intentions when I started this blog and now it's even less my intention. But it's so easy to hide behind beautiful pictures. It's easy to say "I went to Bonn and to the country and killed millions of dandelions" and not talk about the things that I should be doing (looking for a job, among other things). And damn, whining about the loss I feel after finishing my thesis is pretentious, too, which is why I haven't done it here.

I also find the pretentious blogs boring. There, I said it. Yes, buttons, yes, knitting, yes, whatever. I'm curious about your life, not your buttons. Well, I'm definitely a voyeur, heck, I see nothing wrong with what Jimmie Stewart did in Rear Window. But then, I am a historian, a professional voyeur of people's lives in the past. I'm immensely curious about the way people lived and continue to live (a convenient excuse), so I want to know how the knitbloggers live, too. Otherwise, show me your knitting and plenty of it.

But all this makes me wonder - what the heck should I write about on this blog then? Well, maybe I should write more about my knitting and take pictures of me in it, even if I'm not wearing makeup and the background is chaotic! I've also come to the conclusion that writing about knitting itself can be pretty pretentious, too, but still, I haven't done a post about "what knitting MEANS to me" yet. Maybe I should do that (don't worry, it won't be about CONNECTIONS or CONSUMERISM). Maybe I should just write what I want to write and show what I want to show and concentrate on my own life instead of looking at all the others and wondering why they seem to have it so much "other" than me. Of course other people lead different lives and write different blogs, duh.

Maybe it's time for a new job it totally is.

too quiet here

Yes. Suspiciously quiet. That's because work on the thesis has ground to a halt. All my anxieties have not been miraculously healed, after all. I shouldn't have expected them to be gone just like that. The idea of finishing my degree after about 10 years of studying has created all kinds of sad and anxious feelings. Going out into the world! Finding a job and a place where they'll pay me to write a dissertation! No more classes! No more student jobs! Something to look forward to - scary as hell at the same time.

I'm still scared, but I decided to accept it. It's okay to be scared, that feeling won't go away for a while, so I might as well finish writing. I finally went outside again today after staying in my cave for the last three days and it's been ok. Maybe I was just waiting for the rain - strangely, right now I prefer going outside in the rain.

I also had a dream, haven't been dreaming in a while what with my screwed-up sleep schedule and it told me that things will be ok. I dreamt that we were still clearing out the old flat (my father's flat where I lived for +20 years) and we got in a whole lot of furniture, beautiful furniture. I was going through my two rooms, thinking about where I would put it all, rearranging everything in my mind. Then the dream changed, I was walking with my mother, crossing a street in Vienna with cars and streetcars (weird, because I avoid jaywalking whenever I can) and there were people singing a stupid song on the streetcar. The streetcar had a handwritten label "EMO" - apparently, people got on the streetcar to sing emo songs? The dream changed again and my mother and I were in Edinburgh and people on the street were singing a sea shanty and we discussed how different those two cultures were and how much better it was to sing a sea shanty than some stupid song. That's when I woke up, remembered that I didn't have to clear out the flat anymore, that I had no space for furniture (no matter how beautiful it is), that I want to go to Scotland and I felt a lot better about everything. (To be fair, I also talked with one of my best friends about my anxiety and had a little "say goodbye to uni" ceremony.)

Instead of writing I have been knitting. Finally. It felt really good to get back to something that I'm actually good at, something tangible, something beautiful, a kind of work that lets me see its quality right from the start. Writing into the void with a bare minimum of feedback is hard for approval-seeking me, although writing a blog isn't all that different, except nobody grades it and you don't get a degree for bloggery.

Where is the evidence that I've been knitting, you ask? Oh well, on Ravelry. I have taken no pictures yet, because that would mean having to figure out how to get the card into the new laptop and I don't quite know how to do that. I *could* possibly get the camera usb cable from the box that is over at my mother's. But I don't feel like taking pictures right now. So you'll have to keep looking at my other pictures. It's all part of an evil plan. Now it's back to work on that thesis of mine.

it's getting very near the end

Last weekend there was a much-needed break with *nothing* happening, except light cleaning and baseball anime which would have lead to the thesis being completely abandoned, if the main character hadn't put me off at the end of the second season - Goro you moron, you can't leave Toshi alone! (not a link to second season - that's the 6th season there, wait a minute, there is no Toshi in the 6th season ... nooooooooooooo!).

Bishies and baseball, a deadly combination to the anime nerd academic. Now I'm back to the grindstone and my thoughts are finally starting to work again, the quotations are starting to turn into pieces of text and the end can't be that far off.

The best thing that has happened is knitting - finally. I almost forgot how nice it is to watch something and knit or go someplace and take the knitting along with you to pass the time. I'm working on a little cowl with some of the reward yarn I got this summer. But no pictures yet, because I'd first have to figure out how to get the card into the computer (or look for the cable).

Znaim/Znojmo in the Czech Republic.

And today my mother and I made a little run to Ikea, because Ikea has these lap cushions with a hard plastic surface for laptops. Genius! Especially since my touchpad is a touch too touchy for precise work, so I need my mouse. Now I can finally write with my computer on my lap and my mouse by its side - I'm sure the thesis will grow much faster. The other thing I really needed was a breakfast bowl of my own. Now I have one. And then there are always some things that you want and kind of need - new, colorful bedclothes, a new large cushion for the couch, a little plastic set thing for the couch table ... but I did not get the measuring cups, because my old ones are better.

Fotographed straight down

I hope this will be one of the last thesis posts ... I've finally recovered from the "so tired of my thesis" part, but I still want it to be over and done with. Which means - back to work, I guess!

D/B-Day

There's rather a lot happening in 2010.

Here's what Wikipedia has to offer. But honestly, I prefer the German Wikipedia description, they list plants and animals of the year (cormorant - bird of the year, iris - flower of the year, badger - wild animal of the year, clove - medical plant of the year, and ivy - medicinal plant of the year) and which composers and authors are celebrating their birthdays - Chopin, Schumann, Mahler, Twain and Tolstoy.

2010 is the year of the tiger, the year of biodiversity and the year of youth.

It also is the fifth year since I started knitting again - I learned from my grandmother somewhere between four and five, did some knitting during my teens, during my later teens, then in 2005 it stuck. I blame it on the internet.


And coincidentally, today is my 30th birthday.

The best day to start a blog. A knitting blog, although I guess I won't be able to keep out my opinions on movies, books, comics, music and other things out completely. A knitting blog that will hopefully not only cover the projects I'm working on, but also my thoughts on knitting, new patterns I've discovered, things that are going on in the knitting world and so on.

Well - off I go.